I’m feeling pretty sad tonight.
My sister threw a 4th of July BBQ feast, we took pictures of all the cousins in their matching American flag shirts, and did some street fireworks which was awesome. My little girl Audree pretty much said “WOW!!” The entire time.. And I asked my sister and my neice to take some pics of me and my daughter and the rest of the family on the tailgate having fun watching the show. I was so excited to see these pictures. And then I saw them…. And wow, was I surprised as to what I was looking at.
Before I got pregnant I was in decent shape but I was really happy with my weight and my size. I was a size 5-7 and a flat stomach. Thin arms and face, and a healthy 140 lbs. (I’m 5’9 so I was happy with 140).
Then I got pregnant and the weight kept piling on. I weighted 220 when I left the hospital. I actually GAINED weight in the hospital. For the first time in my life I had back fat . I breast fed and expected the weight to fly off me but it literally took months and months to notice a difference. I started working out and running, and while my fiancé constantly brags about him losing a pound every day when he wakes up it seems like, my weight is at a complete stand still at 157 lbs.
I feel like nothing I do works. No matter how much I eat right and exercise I can not lose the weight. It leaves me feeling very defeated.
I promise to you I’m not superficial. I just wish I can get back to my pre baby weight. I need motivation! I need to stop breast feeding still, I heard that’s a possible reason why I can’t lose those last pounds.
I think that’s a reason why I’m fearful of getting pregnant again. I’m 31 in a couple weeks, it’s harder for me to lose weight, and I can’t go thorough that weight gain and struggle to lose it again. Call me weak, but a woman needs to feel confident and feel like they’re happy with themselves and I won’t feel that way until I make some serious changes and lose those last 17 lbs.
So for Christmas in July…. All I want is weight loss !