Creating change. 

I am the absolute WORST when it comes to making change. Most of the time I feel so content in my ordinary and sometimes unmotivated (depression) state of mind  that I get way too comfortable. I used to be so easy to mold back in my twenties… I would get super into working out and cut soda out of my diet no problem… I would diet like the best of them. Always wanting to go out and enjoy life. But now I’m always finding myself either elated and having a decent day and properly handling temper tantrums from my toddler like a pro, to down right unmotivated can’t move off the couch and do shit kind of days. And I don’t like it one bit.

With all the moving into our new home almost finished and starting to settle into daily life in our beautiful living space, I’m trying so dang hard to start fresh. I always find myself fantasizing about being this person that I dream to be. I don’t want to be anyone else, I have a great life, I just want so desperately to find that better version of myself. It’s close I can feel it.

I read a motivational quote a while back  that has stuck with me. It’s amazing. Goes something like “change happens when you get sick of your own shit”. I’m right there baby. I’m RIGHT THERE. To be honest with you and myself what follows is a list of things I’m totally fucking sick of:

1. I am addicted to food that’s not healthy for my body. I know this. I’m well educated on living an organic and healthy lifestyle, why I chose the bad shit? Conveinence and lack of self control. Also cause my fiancé has an obsession for sour candy and it’s always in the house . 😒

2. Procrastination: ohhh I can just do this tomorrow. Oh GOD Paige stop lying to yourself!!

3. Yoga every damn day. I keep repeating this in my head like a mantra and it has yet to stick. Although I did practice 3 times today and I feel great. I know I feel great after yoga but why can’t I do it everyday ?

4. Negative self talk: I focus on my downfalls but not enough about what’s great about me.

I don’t want to make this too long. So I’ll stop at 4.

I guess change can’t happen till its addressed and other people know about it so they can hold you accountable. So thank you friends for reading about all my insecurities and downfalls. Hoping I can start implanting some new positive habits into my life.  Tomorrow is a new day. 🙂

Ps. Please excuse the absence in blogging lately, moving and adjusting to our new home has taken longer than expected ❤️ I love all my readers ❤️

Xoxo, Paige


2 thoughts on “Creating change. 

  1. Hi Paige
    Your words are familiar to me. After years of therapy and illnesses I still think there is a better state of me. I’m slowing excepting that I am the better state of me, depression and anxiety keeps me from seeing. You are under tremendous stress which can trigger depression. I throw the good habits out the window when depressed, I just don’t care. I may have read your words wrong, please stop by and let’s chat.
    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely agree. I have a tendency to become overwhelmed quite easily, which leads to anger and depression, it’s a uphill battle. But I’m realizing (slowly) that if I stop and count my blessings and do more self-care type things I become better at taking better of myself during the bad times.


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