I don’t know how it’s possible to be around someone 24 hours a day, besides the occasional break, and at the same time feel this utter loneliness. That’s how I have been feeling lately being a stay at home mom. I love my daughter and she is wild and keeps me on my toes, but I cant help but feel this strange emptiness. I’m not sure if its because I don’t get out nearly enough as I should, or that I have a handful of friends and family. Or maybe I crave some alone time that 90 minutes of yoga wont fulfil. Its causing me to go in and out of depression.
I recently was given the opportunity to buy this local dog grooming business from my friend who is moving away, and sadly I had to turn it down. This is my dream, I have always wanted my own business, I love my career and I’m very good at it. The problem is, I have trust issues with strangers watching my baby, and I don’t have family to depend on that will watch Audree while I run a full time business. I never wanted to be a stay at home mom forever. This business offer is just bad timing, and I couldn’t feel any more terrible than I already do about having to turn it down. Audree is just too young and still breastfeeding. Hopefully in the future when shes older that opportunity will come back my way and I will JUMP for joy!
I think I just need to find ways to get back to being the mom who loves staying at home.. Audree is my everything and deserves a well balanced, happy, fully attentive mother. Not one who is so down on herself lately that constantly complains about the littliest things. If anyone has any advice please comment below 🙂