This 50% precious 50% stubborn mean daughter of mine turns 22 months today. Which means in 2 short months she will be 2 years old. 2 years is my absolute limit, I do NOT want to breastfeed any longer.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the breastfeeding relationship I have with my daughter. It has provided us many bonding moments. I have eased her pain and worries with it, and provided her with safety, nutrition and comfort, but all that comes with a price. My sanity. You see…. I have a touch limit. I’m certain some moms can agree with me when it comes to extended breastfeeding and the shameful resentment of constantly being groped, grabbed at, sucked on, the list goes on!
I know our breastfeeding relationship now has just turned into a crutch to fall asleep and a pacifier for when she is bored. We have tried weaning in the past, but over the weekend on a whim, her father and I decided it was time. The first night rocked! I had her two older cousins over and they wore her down, we played in the backyard and we were immersed in physical activity. Nathan got her to go to sleep without the breast that first night. I remember the feeling of complete SHOCK when he texted me from upstairs saying she was asleep. She slept from 9:45- 5 am. WHATTTT!!!!!!!!! This is amazing especially since she is a constant nurser and has been sleeping beside me since birth. I on the other hand got the crappiest sleep. I was so worried about whether or not weaning was going to be successful, and feeling the anxiety of hearing her crying and missing and needing me. By 3 am I was finally able to fall asleep. Nathan was really proud of himself and thought it was a cake walk. ha ha ha.
Night two was a different story.. I had to go in the room and nurse her down to sleep. (They are sleeping in our bed, and I’m sleeping in her big girl bed during this process). After she fell asleep I snuck out and went to bed in the other room. At 2:30 am I got startled awake from a deep sleep that I haven’t had in GOD I don’t know how long, and I could hear Nathan come into the room holding a screaming Audree, I immediately held her and she stopped crying. I told him to go get some sleep and that I would take it from here. I nursed her and she fell right to sleep. I wouldn’t call night two a failure, but more so a step in the direction of where we need to be. We are starting this weaning process late and so struggles and needing patience is to be expected.
Night three is tonight. Around 8 pm Audree grabbed Nathan’s hand and led him to the stairs. Her cue of “ni nights”. It seemed to start well, I snuck in to leave a sippy cup in the room and she was lying next to daddy with the covers pulled up watching Charlie Brown. But soon came the blood curdling screams. That lasted for a good 30 minutes or more, and Nathan just couldn’t take it, frankly I couldn’t either. Never been a “cry it out” type of mom. Just to end her misery I went up stairs and I was greeted with a big warm tearful hug by my princess, and laid her down to nurse her and she fell asleep immediately. Kills me to put her though this.
Its been about 45 min. No screams yet. Praying that she sleeps through the night and I will keep you all posted on our progress! Please leave advice for me in the comments!!